New day, new start over Navy Pier.
Is it ever too late to (re)start?
So, after seeing the depressing latest Avenger’s movie (don’t worry, no spoilers), and living with someone who is generally always depressed about turning 40, I got to thinking about life and why death can be such a preoccupation. Ok, so we all have to die, unless Christ comes early and sweeps the believers away, but if not we all have to die. I get it. But maybe because I am perpetually optimistic, to a fault sometimes, I don’t think thinking or worrying about death has to be all consuming. Take my husband, for example, turning 40 for him has almost been a death sentence. He complains his life is over, his youth is gone, he can’t do things anymore (like dunk a basketball, umm, ok), he’s old and he’ll be dead soon. I live with his dread everyday and it can be quite oppressive. So, being the mother of a toddler, I have mastered the art of redirection and I apply it to my husband. I tell him how great his life is (he’s a lawyer like he always dreamt!), he’s not old (at 40 he doesn’t have to worry about the superficial things of his 20s like clubbing, not having money and having random sex, which aren’t valid arguments to him), he maybe can’t dunk a basketball, but he can learn to golf, and generally that his life is good because he has a family, a house, decent clothes, good friends, and a comfortable life. But still for him, he wishes he had accomplished more by 40, more traveling, more episodes of random sex, and now it’s all gone. However, with the exception of the random sex (while married to me), I believe that whatever he wants can still be accomplished.
Take me, for example, I’m a few years from 40, but I’m not worried about it. Sure, I haven’t accomplished everything that I have wanted, my job is super, super stressful, my post-baby weight is ridiculous, and I haven’t been the most attentive friend post-baby, but generally my life is good. I have a family and home I love, friends who are supportive and a job which does offer a good amount of flexibility as a trade-off for all of the stress. And now, because I believe if you don’t like your life you can change it, here I am writing. I don’t know where this will lead, but I do know wherever it does lead, it will be good because I am finally doing what I have dreamed of and what is God’s purpose for me. So, this is what makes me encourage my husband to get up and change the things he doesn’t like despite his age. Death will surely come, but it doesn’t have to come and the expense of us forgetting to live. If there is something out there that you always wanted for yourself, why not go after it? Whatever it is. And if you are too old, like becoming a NBA star at 45, then try for the next best thing. Be the best 45-year old in a basketball league for your age and if you want to be famous, find a way to monetize it. If you want to be an actress, but think 36 is too old to start, get over it. Get a headshot, take some classes and go on some auditions. Tyler Perry always seems to be hiring. I’m not saying walk away from your day jobs to follow your dreams, unless of course you can afford to do that, but find a way to make your dreams work in your current life until a time comes where you live them full-time. Of course following your dreams or changing your life will not be easy, but if it is something that you want to do anyway, you already know it will be worth the determination, trials, and setbacks for all the success in the end. All it takes is the courage to take the first step. So, go out there, dreamers. Live that life, go get that bag, walk it like you talk it, be a trap star or whatever, but don’t waste any more seconds dying without living. And because I firmly believe in the prophet Jay-Z when he said, and I paraphrase, don’t waste my breath, I don’t know how many more of them I got left, I intend to live on purpose. Death will come, but I’m sure as hell not waiting on it.